First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
