They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Ladies don't puke and tell
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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