Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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