Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
