I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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