I just pynch a tree in the face
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
