i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize