Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
