yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
