he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
