I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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