apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
