I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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