I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
