so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
