she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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