it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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