he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
