we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
