Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
