How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'd cum for enchiladas.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
