just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
