...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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