You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
