he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
