He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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