So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
