I molested 6 butterflies tonight
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
