I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
