I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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