My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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