How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
