i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
