shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
