You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'm really busy with my period
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