There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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