yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
