Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
