Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
