I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
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She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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