i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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