one might say we're banned from that church
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
