from now on my penis is your penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
