Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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