Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
