Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
You may now shotgun with the bride
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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