Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
