Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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