Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
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Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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