Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
