I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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