is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
