Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
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For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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