Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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