The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
