But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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