real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
