You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize