I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
