is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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