he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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