I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
